I walked alone, dreaming of my
iPod, fried chicken, and the internet. My mind set adrift in
the mundane dance of my feet, everyday more of the same. Dodge
the abandoned cars, step over the discarded bodies, and hide
from the cities. It was there amongst the danger, the dreams
subsided. Muscle memory made fast use of my two handguns and
if necessary the shotgun. No, the cities were for fools and the
demented.
There in the wilderness, guided
only by the sun and the stars, I strayed. The chance I’d find
one of them would be very slight and the odds of finding one
of me much higher. Survivors were the ones who were smart, stubborn,
and strong enough not to die during the initial years.
I sucked on the plastic tube attached
to my pack, bringing necessary nutrients to my body. Some days
I neglect, letting the dreams become more real. The dreams pull
me back to my wife and little girl. There I would stay, in the
log cabin surrounded by high metal gates and the “danger they’re
inside” signs. Shayla would be there, running her fingers through
my dreads with my little girl Kia at our feet playing with her
crayons.
We were the lucky ones. It had
taken many years to convince Shayla that a life of solidarity
and outdoors would be better than a wall of concrete and noise.
She was a city girl but she loved me anyway. Even without the
dreams I can smell her perfume, see her slender face, thick lips,
and green eyes.
I raised my left hand up to my
face. It was there I wrote in ink the number of days I had been
away from them. Every sunset I reminded myself not to look at
it. Anxiety sets in every time. They needed me. The crops had
failed and the animals scarce. It seemed even they had enough
sense to get away.
A noise brought me out of it all.
My handgun was drawn and I moved closer to a large tree. They
sense fear and smell blood, I reminded myself. I am confident.
I will survive. They will die. The mantra repeated itself. I
scanned and listened. The worst thing you could do is get surrounded
or backed into a corner. That’s when I saw it…Him…It’s face a
decomposed mix of skeleton and falling flesh.
They move slow like the Romero
movies of the past. Some groaned, others screamed, this one was
silent. I moved from tree to tree making sure to keep it in front
of me. The instinct is to shoot it but it’s not the smartest
response. Like moths to a flame they had adapted to the sounds
of guns. Guns meant food…I had to be sure.
I circled it. Patience paid for
itself when I saw the other. A child, no taller than three feet,
with hair that hung from patches of skin atop her exposed skull.
She trailed the other with unsure movement. They claimed during
the broadcasts that they weren’t intelligent. Any semblance of
such was residual brain waves and accidental neuron fire. I didn’t
believe them. Never trusted them, they had brought this upon
us. What had they called it? “A terrorist attempt at racial genocide.”
The girl’s hand moved in my direction.
Her small arms reached for me, her upper torso moving before
her lower. The man did the same. In times like this, rule number
two is always hit them in the head. Any other place would just
be a waste of bullets. The man was first, his head popped, spinning
his body around. The girl turned to him, her sunken eyes seemed
to widen. There was a memory there…an emotion. Maybe it was just
my mind’s need to rationalize it all. I hesitated. She had forgotten
about me and moved towards him.
“What you waiting for?” called
a voice behind me.
I swung around to meet a tall baldheaded
bull of a man. He had his rifle trained on me.
“You can’t let them get away…shoot
them and shoot fast.”
He fired and the girl fell face
first onto the ground. A large hole leaked green and brown liquid
onto her back. My emotions were mixed, sadness and relief rushed
over me.
“Thanks,” I said lowering my weapon.
He smiled and made his way over
to me.
“Don’t mention it,” he said then
shook my hand. “Will.”
“Nathaniel,” I replied.
He eyed my weapons and the sixty
pound pack on my back.
“Not from around here?” said Will.
“It’s been twenty days since I
seen another soul,” I replied.
He forced a smile. He would have
to test me. Strangers are never to be trusted, especially those
alone.
“It’s tough out there by yourself.”
I nodded and drew another drink
from the straw, “Got to go. If there’s more around, the shots
will attract them.”
I turned my back to him and started
off in my original direction. I hadn’t asked for anything and
I didn’t attack him. I was safe to bring back to the camp; all
I had to do was wait for it.
“Wait,” he called. “I’m sure you
could use some food and sleep. God knows how you’ve been managing.”
“Scout out a fifteen minute perimeter
based on how fast they move and sleep in the middle for ten minutes…”
He raised his eyebrows; the question
had been rhetorical,
“Uh…sure. Just come on…The camp’s
this way.”
We kept our distance along the
way. My mind being my companion for so long it was hard to transition
back to being “normal”. Shayla’s voice tickled my ear.
“When are you coming home?”
I looked over to Will who had begun
to ramble.
“Fucking assholes thought they
could get one over on us…shit, all they did was made it easier
to see who the real enemy is…”
Shayla frowned. Things were still
the same. They still hated, hunted, and strove to kill us.
“Soon babe,” I whispered.
“Huh?” questioned Will with a sideways
glance.
I’m not alone anymore, I
reminded myself. I shrugged and he picked up the pace.
“Not too far now.”
A few minutes later the trees opened
up on a brown and white RV surrounded by two dark green tents.
A skinny man in a faded I Love New York t-shirt waved
at us from the roof. He sat Indian style in the middle with a
scoped rifle attached to a makeshift stand. So far, they were
smart. Will noticed, “We take turns…those of us who can shoot…”
“A headshot the best way,” I added.
He nodded.
“Yo, who’s the new guy?” said a
teenage girl emerging from one of the tents.
Her round Asian face contrasted
well with her smooth caramel skin. Her T-shirt read “Hate” and
had an angel halo in the middle of it. Her brown eyes looked
me up and down.
“He’s with me…calm down. He helped
killed a few,” said Will as he handed her his gun. “Where’s the
food? Get him a plate.”
She cut her eyes from me to him.
“I hope you like rotten deer,” she
said as she trailed off.
Will chuckled. “She’s kidding.
Kid sister, we call her Angie. Pain in my side…these are the
years. You know what I mean.”
I didn’t, my daughter was barely
six.
“Who’s the new guy?” called the
man on the roof.
“What’s this I hear about a new
guy? Boy, you bring home strays again?” called a strained voice
from the other tent. “We barely have enough food to go around.”
Will winced as he looked at me.
“Shut up ma…not like you help with
the hunting anyways. Go back to sleep. That’s ma…and the guy
up there’s Jake.”
Her tent shook from left to right
but no one came out. Jake went back to the gun and his search.
“I won’t take up much of your time.
The sleep and food sounded good. It’s been a while.”
Will smiled and pointed to the
RV. “There’s a bed in there. Take as much time as you need. We
could use the help.”
The night came and I laid in the
R.V. unable to sleep. Will had taken tonight’s watch, giving
Jake time with Angie, his apparent girl. I sat up, throwing the
blanket off of me. My mind wondered how Shayla was holding up.
How could I sleep when she was at home alone with Kia? Her perfume
hung thick and suffocating. Kia’s brown eyes appeared like large
pools of sadness. I jumped out of the makeshift bed bumping into
an old TV then the door. Will shuffled around on the roof.
I opened the door slow letting
the night slip in. I reached for my shotgun, slinging it over
my shoulder. Out of habit I scanned left and right, the ladder
to the roof was next to me and I proceeded to climb up.
“Can’t sleep?” said Will without
looking up.
“It’s not home…no offense,” I replied.
“Tell me about it,” he said. “Shit’s
just not the same.”
“I dream sometimes,” I whispered
as I removed the blade from my boot.
“Yea?”
“Yea…things never happened…it’s
all the same…this is the dream and I’m asleep at home with my
wife and kid…”
“I think we all do that.”
I moved close to him. My hand grabbed
the back of his head and before he could cry, I slid my knife
across his throat. Blood gurgled out and splattered the roof.
His body struggled underneath me. A drowned cry finally escaped.
I waited until he stopped trembling to move back to the ladder
towards Jake’s tent.
“Jake,” I whispered.
There was no response so I clapped
my hands and called again. Someone stirred and out popped his
head, his gun in his right hand.
“Hey, new guy?”
I didn’t waste time; the knife
went across his wrist then up across his face. I pushed it into
his eye and he cried out, falling back into the tent. I followed
landing on top of him and the sleeping girl. She woke up fast
but I was faster. She didn’t have the time. Her life ended with
her half awake.
“Boy, what are you doing up there?
What’s all that noise?”
The mother chose now to get out
of her tent? She wasn’t a threat. I slipped out of the tent.
“He’s dead…”
Although she was a large woman
with the weight our ancestors used to survive, she leapt away
from me like a rabbit.
“What the hell you mean dead? Seriously… I
ain’t got no time for games…Where’s Will? William get down here
now. What’d I tell you about these strays?”
I showed her my bloodied knife.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said
as I looked for unusual bulges under her blue dress. “I want
you to run and run fast.”
She didn’t move. The anger had
dissipated and replaced with shock and fear. Even after it all
the fact that someone could still feel anything surprised me.
I stomped my feet towards her.
“I…I…” she stammered.
I danced the knife in circles in
front of her face.
“I said run…Now!”
A slash across her wrist made her
run. They smell blood and sense fear. Her run was slow,
almost comical. I watched for a little while before heading back
up the ladder. Will’s body was still face down.
“The real enemy is us,” I said,
while I kicked his carcass off the roof.
From my pack I retrieved my tools,
a hatchet, knives, and other things necessary to remove the meat.
It wasn’t personal…I didn’t know them. Laughter…a bad joke…The
virus had claimed those who were melanin deficient…It didn’t
know them either. It had changed us from the minority to the
majority but things stayed the same. Shayla had always claimed
to be different. There was too much love to hate.
I went for the organs first. The
heart, liver, lungs, and brain were cut away then washed with
water from their container. I rubbed salt into them, then applied
another layer before wrapping them in plastic wrap.
“Don’t forget some of the fat.”
I smiled and scooped a little,
salted it, and dropped it in a zip lock bag. Shayla was happy
for that. By the time I was done, Will, Jake, and Angie were
nothing but limbs amassed in a pile of unusable waste. They would
eat well tonight, giving me the time I needed to start home.
My body was on auto pilot. I dreamed
of them and they were happy. I was almost home. Shayla’s face
smiled wide. Trees separated and the dark dull grey gates sat
on the horizon. My heart fluttered and my pace quickened. I knocked
on the gate. It was locked from the inside. More protection needed
from the outsiders. I heard shuffling, she had to be sure.
“Daddy?”
I smiled, “Yes baby. It’s me. Open
the hole.”
A small slot opened and I stuck
my hand inside. She would have to look at my skin; the hands
were the first to go.
“I thought you’d never come home.
Mom’s been a hand full.”
The gate opened and I slipped inside.
My little girl kept the gun up trained on the outside world.
I stared at her face, was she real? How did she survive all this?
Was I right to let her?
“I know, baby. It’s getting harder
every day,” I said, as I closed the gate.
She threw her arms around me. Her
tears soaked into my chest. I missed her, I loved her, and I
didn’t want her to let go. We cried together both of us not wanting
to go inside the house. But soon we would have to. A few minutes
passed and I finally said, “Let’s go feed your Mother.”